When I got to the main play ground, there was a crowd of guys in the process of choosing up sides. Arnold sat over to the side, knowing that once again he would be picked last. Nobody ever wanted Arnold on his football team. Or any team. He was nice, but really horrible at any kind of sports. But he really wanted to be good. He was there every time a team was divided up.
Then, something happened that hardly ever happened. Tony looked up and saw me and yelled, “Hey, guys. There he is.” The whole group ran over to me before I reached the football field.
“What in the world is going on?” I asked.
“Tell them Randy,” Tony said as he pointed in a circle, meaning the whole gang. “Tell them that the ‘tattoo guy’ and that ‘dancer lady’ aren’t living together. They’re all saying that they live together. Tell them the truth.” They gathered around me, making a circle.
“He’s right, guys. Jake and Collette just met last weekend and they do live in separate apartments.”
“They do not!” yelled one boy. ‘My dad says they are living in sin and that makes you a liar, Randy Simpson.” I didn’t know what to say.
“I just told you what I see.”
“Are you saying my dad’s a liar, then? HUH?”
“No, I just answered Tony’s question.”
The boy went over and picked up the only ball that was there and then started to walk off. “If he’s going to play,” he said, pointing at me, “then I’m not going to stay.” He ran off.
“Come on, that was the only football we have,” yelled one boy as he pulled off his baseball cap and threw it on the ground. The crowd slowly walked away. Tony walked over and patted me on the back.
“I’m sorry, Randy. I didn’t mean for that to happen. We were arguing about Jake before you got here, and I thought…well…I…”
“Don’t worry about me,” I said. “I’m just sorry nobody got to play.” Tony walked off and I slowly made my way back to the Sunset. Jake was sitting outside apartment number eight with a big fat man who must have just moved in. He was new. I ran up to him and he held out both hands in a fist.
“Which one?” Jake asked. “Left or right? Guess which one and you will get a prize.”
“What’s in it?” I asked, looking down at his rough hands.
“Just guess.”
“Left,” I guessed. He opened his left hand and it was empty. I sighed like I had lost the million dollar lottery, even though I didn’t know what he had hidden. I reached for his right hand and he clinched his fist tighter. I struggled hard, but I knew he was much stronger than I was. He held up the index finger on his left hand and I took my hands off of his and stood there waiting. Jake then opened his right hand and there sat a round coin sort of thing.
“Here. It’s yours anyway. It’s good for a free Blizzard at Dairy Queen.”
“Thanks, Jake.” I looked down and the fat man laughed and smiled.
“Are you sure you don’t want a beer, Jake. I’ll get you a cold one,” the fat man asked.
Jake held up his hand and waved. “No thank you Bob, I haven’t had a drink in almost twenty years. I couldn’t handle it then. I might not now. I can’t risk it.”
“Suit yourself,” he said as he walked off to his apartment.
“I guess you see a lot of drinking, don’t you, Randy. I look around and see most people living here have a beer in their hands.”
“Yeah. Them, and well…my mom.,,”
“I forgot about your…”
“Don’t worry about it, Jake. I don’t know her any other way. I wish she didn’t drink, but I can’t seem to convince her not to. She doesn’t get out anywhere else and drink. Just here at home.”
“Can I give you some advice that my daddy gave me?”
“Sure.”
“Unfortunately, I didn’t listen. But this is the advice my daddy gave me. I heard him say it dozens of time. ‘The best way to stop a bad habit is to never start it.’”
“Huh?” I asked.
“Let me explain. So many habits that people have are so hard to break. Smoking, drinking, taking pills, gambling, all sorts of things. They take over and control us. We are slaves to what controls us. If you never, ever try that first drink or smoke or whatever, you will never be a slave to it. You control it, not the other way around. So, be careful around friends when they try to convince you to take something. They will say you’re a sissy if you don’t. Don’t believe it. It takes a real man to say no. I’ll be right back. Do you want a drink? Soft drink, that is.”
“Sure.”
“I’ll be back in a minute. You think about what I said. It might save your life someday.” Jake went on into his apartment and left me there for about five minutes. I think he did so I would have a few minutes to sit and think about what he told me.
He came back with my favorite, a Dr Pepper and we sat there in silence drinking our drinks.
“So, Jake.” I said.
“Yeah?”
“Were you real young when you started drinking?”
“Randy, I was sort of like you. Except I grew up without my mother. She died when I was three. My dad never really got over losing her so he became what people call a ‘workaholic’.”
“What does that mean?” I asked
“It means they are addicted to working way too much. For some people, it is a great desire to get wealthy. For others, like my dad, it was a way to stay busy and not think about what they were hurting from. The more he worked, the more he could forget about my mom. From the time I was about fourteen, I was pretty much on my own. I got in with the wrong crowd and started drinking. Then it was marijuana. Then pills. And then cocaine.”
“Cocaine!” I yelled. “You don’t…I mean…you don’t still…”
“No Randy, no. That was a long time ago. I’m forty-five years old and I haven’t had a drink, a smoke, or anything since I was twenty-five. And no, I don’t and never have sold drugs to anybody. I have heard the talk around town. Some people think that because I look a little different and have all these tattoos, that I must be selling dope.”
“How did you get off the stuff?” I asked.
“It’s a sad, and wonderful story. For some of us, you have to hit rock bottom before you can look up. For eleven years of my life, I wanted to do little but get to that next high. I robbed, I stole, I lied, I did anything I could to get money for my drugs. I was arrested eighteen times. I got married to a ‘drop-dead gorgeous’ wife when I was only nineteen. She was eighteen. I got her hooked and she was more addicted to the stuff than I was. By the time she was twenty-three, she looked fifty years old. She died of an overdose on her twenty-fourth birthday.”
Jake stopped for a moment and wiped a few tears. I didn’t say anything. He continued.
“After that my addiction got so much worse. I wanted to drown out any memory of her. Then about six months later I got a bad batch of cocaine. It had other stuff in it and I overdosed real bad. I was in the hospital for two weeks. One of the nurses in the hospital was a wonderful Christian lady and she shared Jesus with me on a daily basis. Right there in my hospital room, I gave my life over to Jesus. He filled me so much with his love. I wish I could say life has been perfect since then, but I would be lying.”
“What happened?”
“Randy, the bible says that if we are true followers of Christ that we are new people. New creations. Some radical Christians want to teach you that once you become a believer, that we have none of the old temptations or problems. But that just isn’t true. Yes, God gives us new desires, and he gives us his spirit to help us overcome our temptations, but there is no secret formula. The Bible says that we still have to live in this sinful flesh and that fighting temptations is going to be a daily struggle. But with Jesus, it is easier. Without him, we have very little ability to fight the flesh. The Bible tells us we need to die to ourselves and our wants and our desires on a daily basis.”
“So, you didn’t stop taking drugs?”
“Not immediately. I went right back to it. The difference is I also started going to church and meeting with other believers and they started praying for me. They prayed for two things to happen in my life. One, that I would be overcome with such horrible guilt feelings every time I took something. Two, that every time I took something, I would get horribly sick and would just hate the stuff. And you know what, God answered both prayers. After about one year of getting so sick, the desires completely went away. I haven’t had a hit of anything or a drink in over nineteen years. If I hadn’t met Jesus and had his help, I’m sure I would be dead by now.”
I sat there and stared at a man who could smile better than just about anyone I knew. He was different, different than most, I mean. I heard something to my right and looked that way. Mom was heading our way. She looked better and prettier than she has in a long time. She had new clothes and didn’t look like she had been drunk at all this weekend.
“Where’d you get the new ‘dud’s’, mom?”
“Do you remember when that new preacher’s lady came over last week and gave Collette some new clothes?” I looked at Jake and we both nodded. “About three things did not fit her and she gave this to me. Looks nice, huh?” Mom smiled real big.
“Mrs. Simpson, you look very nice. Really nice.” My mom was not used to talk like that. Usually it was crude talk and jokes that she tried to ignore.
“Thank you, Jake. I appreciate…”
“Mrs. Simpson!” we all heard yelled across the parking lot. It was Amanda, the weekend lady at the Sunset. She looked worried. “You need to take this call, ma’am. Since,…you know, I’m only part time.” Amanda handed mom the cordless phone from the office.
“Hello? I’m sorry, I can barely hear you. I’m on a cordless and I am a little too far away from the base. Can you wait a minute?” Mom walked away and went back inside the office. Amanda followed her. About two minutes later, mom came back and joined us. She did not look well at all. At least not like she did a few minutes ago. Her hair was mussed up. When she gets real nervous or mad, she has this bad habit of running her fingers through her hair, no matter how it looks later.
“Mrs. Simpson? What in the world is wrong?” Jake asked.
“Small minded little bigots, that’s what is wrong.”
I looked at Jake and he gave her a puzzled look.
“Some idiot, who didn’t even have the backbone to tell me who they were, demanded that I kick you and Collette out on the streets.” Mom’s face got so mad and she turned around and threw the phone down busting it in several pieces. As soon as she did, she started to cry. “I…I can’t believe I just did that. I am so angry…” I won’t tell you what kind of words she just used, but if I had said them in school, I would have gotten detention for a week. I went to pick up the broken pieces of the phone while Jake went closer to mom.
“It’s Ok. It’s Ok. But please tell me. What exactly did they tell you? They said that this town and Riverstone Baptist didn’t need your kind around here. They mentioned both you and Collette. They said you were a ‘dope selling trouble maker’ and I can’t tell you what they said about Collette. At least not in front of my son.”
“What are you going to do about it?” Jake asked kindly and quietly.
Mom looked his way like she wanted to kill him for a second. “Nothing! Nothing at all. Those two-faced creeps think they can push me and my customers around, they got another thing coming.”
Again, Jake talked in a very quiet voice. He was trying not to upset mom. “And you have no idea who made the call?” Mom shook her head. Jake then walked off to his room and left mom and I standing there alone. She stood there with her arms folded, with a face that looked like it could skin a wild hog alive.
A minute later, Jake came out and was talking on his cell phone. “…Yes, I know Ron, but I still feel like half of this is my fault. Maybe I should stay away for tonight.” There was a long pause. “I know…I know. Yes, you’re the boss. I’ll see you a little before seven.” He clicked off his phone and wandered around the parking lot for about a minute before he joined mom and I again.
“That was Ron Anderson. I felt like I needed to let him know what was going on. I tried to bow out for tonight and he said he wouldn’t allow it. He said that two weeks might be the shortest stint a pastor ever had, but he wasn’t going to go without a fight. He insisted that I go, and he even suggested I ask Collette if she would like to go back. I doubt it, but I’ll try. I barely have an hour left, so I better go find her. Mrs. Simpson, is it fine if ‘little squirt’ goes with me?” He looked down at me and smiled.
“Fine with me. You keep him close, do you understand. I don’t want things to get out of hand over there. Randy,” she said looking over at me. “you go clean up a little and be ready for Jake when he is ready. Now go.” She slapped me on the bottom to get me going. I didn’t need any prompting. Whatever was going to happen at Riverstone either Wednesday or tonight, I didn’t want to miss it.
Then, something happened that hardly ever happened. Tony looked up and saw me and yelled, “Hey, guys. There he is.” The whole group ran over to me before I reached the football field.
“What in the world is going on?” I asked.
“Tell them Randy,” Tony said as he pointed in a circle, meaning the whole gang. “Tell them that the ‘tattoo guy’ and that ‘dancer lady’ aren’t living together. They’re all saying that they live together. Tell them the truth.” They gathered around me, making a circle.
“He’s right, guys. Jake and Collette just met last weekend and they do live in separate apartments.”
“They do not!” yelled one boy. ‘My dad says they are living in sin and that makes you a liar, Randy Simpson.” I didn’t know what to say.
“I just told you what I see.”
“Are you saying my dad’s a liar, then? HUH?”
“No, I just answered Tony’s question.”
The boy went over and picked up the only ball that was there and then started to walk off. “If he’s going to play,” he said, pointing at me, “then I’m not going to stay.” He ran off.
“Come on, that was the only football we have,” yelled one boy as he pulled off his baseball cap and threw it on the ground. The crowd slowly walked away. Tony walked over and patted me on the back.
“I’m sorry, Randy. I didn’t mean for that to happen. We were arguing about Jake before you got here, and I thought…well…I…”
“Don’t worry about me,” I said. “I’m just sorry nobody got to play.” Tony walked off and I slowly made my way back to the Sunset. Jake was sitting outside apartment number eight with a big fat man who must have just moved in. He was new. I ran up to him and he held out both hands in a fist.
“Which one?” Jake asked. “Left or right? Guess which one and you will get a prize.”
“What’s in it?” I asked, looking down at his rough hands.
“Just guess.”
“Left,” I guessed. He opened his left hand and it was empty. I sighed like I had lost the million dollar lottery, even though I didn’t know what he had hidden. I reached for his right hand and he clinched his fist tighter. I struggled hard, but I knew he was much stronger than I was. He held up the index finger on his left hand and I took my hands off of his and stood there waiting. Jake then opened his right hand and there sat a round coin sort of thing.
“Here. It’s yours anyway. It’s good for a free Blizzard at Dairy Queen.”
“Thanks, Jake.” I looked down and the fat man laughed and smiled.
“Are you sure you don’t want a beer, Jake. I’ll get you a cold one,” the fat man asked.
Jake held up his hand and waved. “No thank you Bob, I haven’t had a drink in almost twenty years. I couldn’t handle it then. I might not now. I can’t risk it.”
“Suit yourself,” he said as he walked off to his apartment.
“I guess you see a lot of drinking, don’t you, Randy. I look around and see most people living here have a beer in their hands.”
“Yeah. Them, and well…my mom.,,”
“I forgot about your…”
“Don’t worry about it, Jake. I don’t know her any other way. I wish she didn’t drink, but I can’t seem to convince her not to. She doesn’t get out anywhere else and drink. Just here at home.”
“Can I give you some advice that my daddy gave me?”
“Sure.”
“Unfortunately, I didn’t listen. But this is the advice my daddy gave me. I heard him say it dozens of time. ‘The best way to stop a bad habit is to never start it.’”
“Huh?” I asked.
“Let me explain. So many habits that people have are so hard to break. Smoking, drinking, taking pills, gambling, all sorts of things. They take over and control us. We are slaves to what controls us. If you never, ever try that first drink or smoke or whatever, you will never be a slave to it. You control it, not the other way around. So, be careful around friends when they try to convince you to take something. They will say you’re a sissy if you don’t. Don’t believe it. It takes a real man to say no. I’ll be right back. Do you want a drink? Soft drink, that is.”
“Sure.”
“I’ll be back in a minute. You think about what I said. It might save your life someday.” Jake went on into his apartment and left me there for about five minutes. I think he did so I would have a few minutes to sit and think about what he told me.
He came back with my favorite, a Dr Pepper and we sat there in silence drinking our drinks.
“So, Jake.” I said.
“Yeah?”
“Were you real young when you started drinking?”
“Randy, I was sort of like you. Except I grew up without my mother. She died when I was three. My dad never really got over losing her so he became what people call a ‘workaholic’.”
“What does that mean?” I asked
“It means they are addicted to working way too much. For some people, it is a great desire to get wealthy. For others, like my dad, it was a way to stay busy and not think about what they were hurting from. The more he worked, the more he could forget about my mom. From the time I was about fourteen, I was pretty much on my own. I got in with the wrong crowd and started drinking. Then it was marijuana. Then pills. And then cocaine.”
“Cocaine!” I yelled. “You don’t…I mean…you don’t still…”
“No Randy, no. That was a long time ago. I’m forty-five years old and I haven’t had a drink, a smoke, or anything since I was twenty-five. And no, I don’t and never have sold drugs to anybody. I have heard the talk around town. Some people think that because I look a little different and have all these tattoos, that I must be selling dope.”
“How did you get off the stuff?” I asked.
“It’s a sad, and wonderful story. For some of us, you have to hit rock bottom before you can look up. For eleven years of my life, I wanted to do little but get to that next high. I robbed, I stole, I lied, I did anything I could to get money for my drugs. I was arrested eighteen times. I got married to a ‘drop-dead gorgeous’ wife when I was only nineteen. She was eighteen. I got her hooked and she was more addicted to the stuff than I was. By the time she was twenty-three, she looked fifty years old. She died of an overdose on her twenty-fourth birthday.”
Jake stopped for a moment and wiped a few tears. I didn’t say anything. He continued.
“After that my addiction got so much worse. I wanted to drown out any memory of her. Then about six months later I got a bad batch of cocaine. It had other stuff in it and I overdosed real bad. I was in the hospital for two weeks. One of the nurses in the hospital was a wonderful Christian lady and she shared Jesus with me on a daily basis. Right there in my hospital room, I gave my life over to Jesus. He filled me so much with his love. I wish I could say life has been perfect since then, but I would be lying.”
“What happened?”
“Randy, the bible says that if we are true followers of Christ that we are new people. New creations. Some radical Christians want to teach you that once you become a believer, that we have none of the old temptations or problems. But that just isn’t true. Yes, God gives us new desires, and he gives us his spirit to help us overcome our temptations, but there is no secret formula. The Bible says that we still have to live in this sinful flesh and that fighting temptations is going to be a daily struggle. But with Jesus, it is easier. Without him, we have very little ability to fight the flesh. The Bible tells us we need to die to ourselves and our wants and our desires on a daily basis.”
“So, you didn’t stop taking drugs?”
“Not immediately. I went right back to it. The difference is I also started going to church and meeting with other believers and they started praying for me. They prayed for two things to happen in my life. One, that I would be overcome with such horrible guilt feelings every time I took something. Two, that every time I took something, I would get horribly sick and would just hate the stuff. And you know what, God answered both prayers. After about one year of getting so sick, the desires completely went away. I haven’t had a hit of anything or a drink in over nineteen years. If I hadn’t met Jesus and had his help, I’m sure I would be dead by now.”
I sat there and stared at a man who could smile better than just about anyone I knew. He was different, different than most, I mean. I heard something to my right and looked that way. Mom was heading our way. She looked better and prettier than she has in a long time. She had new clothes and didn’t look like she had been drunk at all this weekend.
“Where’d you get the new ‘dud’s’, mom?”
“Do you remember when that new preacher’s lady came over last week and gave Collette some new clothes?” I looked at Jake and we both nodded. “About three things did not fit her and she gave this to me. Looks nice, huh?” Mom smiled real big.
“Mrs. Simpson, you look very nice. Really nice.” My mom was not used to talk like that. Usually it was crude talk and jokes that she tried to ignore.
“Thank you, Jake. I appreciate…”
“Mrs. Simpson!” we all heard yelled across the parking lot. It was Amanda, the weekend lady at the Sunset. She looked worried. “You need to take this call, ma’am. Since,…you know, I’m only part time.” Amanda handed mom the cordless phone from the office.
“Hello? I’m sorry, I can barely hear you. I’m on a cordless and I am a little too far away from the base. Can you wait a minute?” Mom walked away and went back inside the office. Amanda followed her. About two minutes later, mom came back and joined us. She did not look well at all. At least not like she did a few minutes ago. Her hair was mussed up. When she gets real nervous or mad, she has this bad habit of running her fingers through her hair, no matter how it looks later.
“Mrs. Simpson? What in the world is wrong?” Jake asked.
“Small minded little bigots, that’s what is wrong.”
I looked at Jake and he gave her a puzzled look.
“Some idiot, who didn’t even have the backbone to tell me who they were, demanded that I kick you and Collette out on the streets.” Mom’s face got so mad and she turned around and threw the phone down busting it in several pieces. As soon as she did, she started to cry. “I…I can’t believe I just did that. I am so angry…” I won’t tell you what kind of words she just used, but if I had said them in school, I would have gotten detention for a week. I went to pick up the broken pieces of the phone while Jake went closer to mom.
“It’s Ok. It’s Ok. But please tell me. What exactly did they tell you? They said that this town and Riverstone Baptist didn’t need your kind around here. They mentioned both you and Collette. They said you were a ‘dope selling trouble maker’ and I can’t tell you what they said about Collette. At least not in front of my son.”
“What are you going to do about it?” Jake asked kindly and quietly.
Mom looked his way like she wanted to kill him for a second. “Nothing! Nothing at all. Those two-faced creeps think they can push me and my customers around, they got another thing coming.”
Again, Jake talked in a very quiet voice. He was trying not to upset mom. “And you have no idea who made the call?” Mom shook her head. Jake then walked off to his room and left mom and I standing there alone. She stood there with her arms folded, with a face that looked like it could skin a wild hog alive.
A minute later, Jake came out and was talking on his cell phone. “…Yes, I know Ron, but I still feel like half of this is my fault. Maybe I should stay away for tonight.” There was a long pause. “I know…I know. Yes, you’re the boss. I’ll see you a little before seven.” He clicked off his phone and wandered around the parking lot for about a minute before he joined mom and I again.
“That was Ron Anderson. I felt like I needed to let him know what was going on. I tried to bow out for tonight and he said he wouldn’t allow it. He said that two weeks might be the shortest stint a pastor ever had, but he wasn’t going to go without a fight. He insisted that I go, and he even suggested I ask Collette if she would like to go back. I doubt it, but I’ll try. I barely have an hour left, so I better go find her. Mrs. Simpson, is it fine if ‘little squirt’ goes with me?” He looked down at me and smiled.
“Fine with me. You keep him close, do you understand. I don’t want things to get out of hand over there. Randy,” she said looking over at me. “you go clean up a little and be ready for Jake when he is ready. Now go.” She slapped me on the bottom to get me going. I didn’t need any prompting. Whatever was going to happen at Riverstone either Wednesday or tonight, I didn’t want to miss it.
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