Cold, darkness, suffocating darkness, and maddening silence. I couldn’t remember… Couldn’t remember anything. Slowly I felt around me but all I touched was cold hard stone, something had woken me. I reached up to touch my face and felt a blindfold across my eyes, that explained the darkness. I began to push it up over my head but was stopped by a pair of hands grabbing mine.
“Careful,” the voice belonging to the hands whispered. A man’s voice. “It will be bright.” The hands proceeded to lift the blindfold and light stabbed into my eyes. I cried out and covered my eyes with my hands, but they still burned. I gasped as I felt a hand on my shoulder and tried to push it away. The man picked me up and began moving towards what I assumed was a door while I kept my hands over my eyes. As we moved outside, I saw the sun’s light through my hands and slowly began to lower them. The glare slowly faded away and I began to make out distinguishable shapes and colors. I was in the courtyard of a castle the towers rising high above me. There were many soldiers about and seemed to be searching the castle. I saw no servants or anyone of the like running around as one would expect at a castle. Though how I knew what castle activity looked like I did not know.
“What’s going on?” I winced at the roughness of my own voice.
The man carrying me looked down at me in surprise, then half smiled. He was an older man with stubble on his chin and some gray in his hair, there was a weariness in his eyes like one who had seen to much. But they softened when he looked at me. “We are searching Castle Rhodes for Lord Cashan and his family. We took the castle only an hour or two ago. I decided to search the dungeons and found you. Would you like to try and walk yourself?”
I nodded and he set me gently on my feet an arm around my shoulder to keep me from collapsing. I tried to take a step forward and faltered. The man quickly caught me and swept me back into his arms. “Maybe not yet.” He told me. “I will take you to my physician where he can look you over.”
“What is your name?” I asked quietly, my voice not as dry and rough as before.
“My name is Emery, Lord of Castle Kamault, loyal servant of his majesty King Ion. What is your name?” He stopped walking and looked down at me.
Raising my eyes to his I whispered, “I don’t know.” And sobbed into his chest.
Lord Emery held me tighter and continued walking as I cried. He tried to console me, but it did no good. I needed to cry out my tears. I felt an emptiness in my heart that ached more with every sob, I remembered being in my cell but nothing of what had happened before I was there.
“Shhh, calm my dear.” Lord Emery whispered as if to a child. “You will remember in time, slow your tears and relax. When your mind is clear and rested you will begin to remember, trust me child.”
Before we reached the physician, my tears had stopped, and a plan was already forming in my mind. Lord Emery had said that this Castle belonged to Lord Cashan. If I could find him he could tell me what I had been doing in his dungeons.
Lord Emery uncomfortable with my silence spoke. “What are you thinking my dear?”
“Lord Cashan, he knows who I am.”
“That might be so, if I find him it will be the first thing I ask.”
We had reached a corridor in the open parts of the castle when Lord Emery turned into a room on the right. I stiffened, there were wounded men everywhere.
“Philos!” He called.
A thin man with rolled up sleeves came running over. “Yes, Lord Emery.”
“Which room can I put this young lady in? Preferably one where she can be alone.”
Philos looked me over then nodded. “Follow me.”
We went back into the corridor and walked a couple of doors down before Philos finally opened one and led Lord Emery inside.
“Set her on the bed here and I’ll come look her over in a moment I have something I need to do first.” Philos jogged out the door.
Lord Emery gently placed me on the bed in the room. It looked to be a bedroom, not one that the Lord of the castle or his family would have slept in, but maybe a guest bedroom.
“You’re bleeding.” Lord Emery said in a concerned voice.
I felt my left side with my hand then looked at it. I was indeed bleeding. Lord Emery quickly took some cloths he found in the drawers in the room and pressed them against my side. I hissed as the wound stung.
“I will need a name for you until we find your real one.” He smiled at me.
I knew what he was trying to do, trying to keep my mind off the pain, and I let him. “How about you choose.” I said through gritted teeth.
“I’ll name a couple, then you choose from them.”
“Deal.”
He thought for a moment. “Well, there’s Anna, Vey, Sky, Breann, Silva, and Rachel. Those are what first come to mind.”
I pondered over each of the names, but I liked Silva the most. “Silva,” I whispered.
“It’s a good name.” He half smiled at me.
Philos finally came back and rushed towards me when he saw Lord Emery holding blood-soaked cloths against my side. “Lord Emery, please go get my assistant John… Quickly!” He said as Lord Emery hesitated.
I smiled weakly at him and he finally left the room.
“You’ll live,” Philos said to me. “You just need stitches, and fast.”
Lord Emery came back with John and he and Philos began to stitch up my side. I groaned in pain as they did so, and Lord Emery took my hand and squeezed it. “You’ll be fine,” he said.
“I know.” I closed my eyes.
“All done.” Philos said cheerfully. “Now just rest here for a bit my dear, someone will be here shortly with some food and water.”
I nodded and John and Philos left the room.
“I’ll leave you to rest now for a bit Silva.” He said, using my new name.
“Thank you, Lord Emery.”
“Just Emery, Silva, none of that Lord title now.”
“Thank you… Emery.” I replied.
He smiled at me and left the room, shutting the door quietly behind him.
I sighed and closed my eyes, falling asleep almost immediately.
I was woken by a small knock on the door. “Come in.”
Philos’s assistant, John, walked in carrying some food and water on a tray. He laid it on the table next to me, “How are you doing?” He asked.
“Well enough.” I sighed. “My head is pounding.”
“Yes…” He touched my head and I winced. “You have a large bruise on your head, probably from hitting the stone floor in your cell. This probably accounts for you memory loss that Lord Emery told us about.”
“Can I get my memories back?” I asked anxiously.
“The probability is high, but it may take some time. Eat and drink now, in a couple days we will work on building back up your strength and tackling your memory loss. But do not expect it all to come back at once. We have no idea how long you were in the dungeon, but someone clearly had plans not to let you live much longer.”
I swallowed. “How do you know?”
“We found messages in the prison guardhouse of how you were to be tortured and if you did not relent, then to be killed. Lord Emery is working nonstop to find Lord Cashan and bring some clarity to the subject. Although he fears that Lord Cashan has long escaped back to King Eric.”
I tilted my head in confusion.
“Oh, that’s right…” he said, “Um well… We live on the western side of the continent Evonia in the Kingdom of Ionis. We have three neighboring Kingdoms. Ovalt is above us, Cherban bellow, and Farbach whom we are at war with is to the west.”
“We’re at war?”
“Yes, Castle Rhodes, where we reside at this moment is the closest castle to Ionis that belongs to Farbach. Lord Cashan, the previous Lord of Castle Rhodes, is a powerful baron with great influence in Farbach’s court. We serve King Ion of Ionis and have been the first army to take a Farbach castle from King Eric.”
“Lord Emery led the assault?”
“Indeed, Lord Emery is a well-respected baron in Ionis, and the King has placed much trust in him. Lord Emery has never led him astray.”
My head swam with all the information. “Why are Ionis and Farbach at war?”
John thought for a moment. “The details are dicey; however, it is said that King Eric stole something from King Ion, the opposite is also told, but I know that not to be true. King Ion would never steal unless it was to keep King Eric from doing something to harm others. What I think, based on what I have heard Lord Emery and Philos talking about, is that King Eric just wants power. He wants to rule Evonia so he made up a bogus claim so he could attack Ionis while leaving Ovalt and Cherban unaware as to his real plans. If he eventually does control Ionis, Ovalt and Cherban will be next. Ovalt and Cherban are content to stay neutral in our war because they think that it will fade in time. King Ion can’t get them to see otherwise.” he looked me over, “you know you could be an Argenti, you have the darker colored skin, but your eyes are not silver. If the Argenti were real, I bet you could be one of them.”
“What’s an Argenti?” I questioned.
“Well, they look like humans, but their normal senses and bodily functions are a bit more enhanced than, they can smell better, run faster, and jump higher. Apparently, they are a small race but extremely smart. Some say they even possessed magic. No one’s ever seen one to validate the stories, however. If the Argenti are real, they don’t live on this continent.”
“So, they are a fairy tale.”
“Sure, you could say that. You know some people say that King Eric himself is an Argenti. But you didn’t hear that from me.”
A memory flashed through my mind, bright flashing light, a thunderous voice, and agony, so much agony. I gasped and grabbed my head in my hands.
“What is it?” John asked, concerned.
“I… I remembered something.”
“Good or bad?”
“I… I don’t know. I was in pain, so much pain.”
John winced. “It might be a memory from your experience in the prison.”
I nodded but didn’t agree. I had seen some of where I was in the memory and it wasn’t a cell.
“Careful,” the voice belonging to the hands whispered. A man’s voice. “It will be bright.” The hands proceeded to lift the blindfold and light stabbed into my eyes. I cried out and covered my eyes with my hands, but they still burned. I gasped as I felt a hand on my shoulder and tried to push it away. The man picked me up and began moving towards what I assumed was a door while I kept my hands over my eyes. As we moved outside, I saw the sun’s light through my hands and slowly began to lower them. The glare slowly faded away and I began to make out distinguishable shapes and colors. I was in the courtyard of a castle the towers rising high above me. There were many soldiers about and seemed to be searching the castle. I saw no servants or anyone of the like running around as one would expect at a castle. Though how I knew what castle activity looked like I did not know.
“What’s going on?” I winced at the roughness of my own voice.
The man carrying me looked down at me in surprise, then half smiled. He was an older man with stubble on his chin and some gray in his hair, there was a weariness in his eyes like one who had seen to much. But they softened when he looked at me. “We are searching Castle Rhodes for Lord Cashan and his family. We took the castle only an hour or two ago. I decided to search the dungeons and found you. Would you like to try and walk yourself?”
I nodded and he set me gently on my feet an arm around my shoulder to keep me from collapsing. I tried to take a step forward and faltered. The man quickly caught me and swept me back into his arms. “Maybe not yet.” He told me. “I will take you to my physician where he can look you over.”
“What is your name?” I asked quietly, my voice not as dry and rough as before.
“My name is Emery, Lord of Castle Kamault, loyal servant of his majesty King Ion. What is your name?” He stopped walking and looked down at me.
Raising my eyes to his I whispered, “I don’t know.” And sobbed into his chest.
Lord Emery held me tighter and continued walking as I cried. He tried to console me, but it did no good. I needed to cry out my tears. I felt an emptiness in my heart that ached more with every sob, I remembered being in my cell but nothing of what had happened before I was there.
“Shhh, calm my dear.” Lord Emery whispered as if to a child. “You will remember in time, slow your tears and relax. When your mind is clear and rested you will begin to remember, trust me child.”
Before we reached the physician, my tears had stopped, and a plan was already forming in my mind. Lord Emery had said that this Castle belonged to Lord Cashan. If I could find him he could tell me what I had been doing in his dungeons.
Lord Emery uncomfortable with my silence spoke. “What are you thinking my dear?”
“Lord Cashan, he knows who I am.”
“That might be so, if I find him it will be the first thing I ask.”
We had reached a corridor in the open parts of the castle when Lord Emery turned into a room on the right. I stiffened, there were wounded men everywhere.
“Philos!” He called.
A thin man with rolled up sleeves came running over. “Yes, Lord Emery.”
“Which room can I put this young lady in? Preferably one where she can be alone.”
Philos looked me over then nodded. “Follow me.”
We went back into the corridor and walked a couple of doors down before Philos finally opened one and led Lord Emery inside.
“Set her on the bed here and I’ll come look her over in a moment I have something I need to do first.” Philos jogged out the door.
Lord Emery gently placed me on the bed in the room. It looked to be a bedroom, not one that the Lord of the castle or his family would have slept in, but maybe a guest bedroom.
“You’re bleeding.” Lord Emery said in a concerned voice.
I felt my left side with my hand then looked at it. I was indeed bleeding. Lord Emery quickly took some cloths he found in the drawers in the room and pressed them against my side. I hissed as the wound stung.
“I will need a name for you until we find your real one.” He smiled at me.
I knew what he was trying to do, trying to keep my mind off the pain, and I let him. “How about you choose.” I said through gritted teeth.
“I’ll name a couple, then you choose from them.”
“Deal.”
He thought for a moment. “Well, there’s Anna, Vey, Sky, Breann, Silva, and Rachel. Those are what first come to mind.”
I pondered over each of the names, but I liked Silva the most. “Silva,” I whispered.
“It’s a good name.” He half smiled at me.
Philos finally came back and rushed towards me when he saw Lord Emery holding blood-soaked cloths against my side. “Lord Emery, please go get my assistant John… Quickly!” He said as Lord Emery hesitated.
I smiled weakly at him and he finally left the room.
“You’ll live,” Philos said to me. “You just need stitches, and fast.”
Lord Emery came back with John and he and Philos began to stitch up my side. I groaned in pain as they did so, and Lord Emery took my hand and squeezed it. “You’ll be fine,” he said.
“I know.” I closed my eyes.
“All done.” Philos said cheerfully. “Now just rest here for a bit my dear, someone will be here shortly with some food and water.”
I nodded and John and Philos left the room.
“I’ll leave you to rest now for a bit Silva.” He said, using my new name.
“Thank you, Lord Emery.”
“Just Emery, Silva, none of that Lord title now.”
“Thank you… Emery.” I replied.
He smiled at me and left the room, shutting the door quietly behind him.
I sighed and closed my eyes, falling asleep almost immediately.
I was woken by a small knock on the door. “Come in.”
Philos’s assistant, John, walked in carrying some food and water on a tray. He laid it on the table next to me, “How are you doing?” He asked.
“Well enough.” I sighed. “My head is pounding.”
“Yes…” He touched my head and I winced. “You have a large bruise on your head, probably from hitting the stone floor in your cell. This probably accounts for you memory loss that Lord Emery told us about.”
“Can I get my memories back?” I asked anxiously.
“The probability is high, but it may take some time. Eat and drink now, in a couple days we will work on building back up your strength and tackling your memory loss. But do not expect it all to come back at once. We have no idea how long you were in the dungeon, but someone clearly had plans not to let you live much longer.”
I swallowed. “How do you know?”
“We found messages in the prison guardhouse of how you were to be tortured and if you did not relent, then to be killed. Lord Emery is working nonstop to find Lord Cashan and bring some clarity to the subject. Although he fears that Lord Cashan has long escaped back to King Eric.”
I tilted my head in confusion.
“Oh, that’s right…” he said, “Um well… We live on the western side of the continent Evonia in the Kingdom of Ionis. We have three neighboring Kingdoms. Ovalt is above us, Cherban bellow, and Farbach whom we are at war with is to the west.”
“We’re at war?”
“Yes, Castle Rhodes, where we reside at this moment is the closest castle to Ionis that belongs to Farbach. Lord Cashan, the previous Lord of Castle Rhodes, is a powerful baron with great influence in Farbach’s court. We serve King Ion of Ionis and have been the first army to take a Farbach castle from King Eric.”
“Lord Emery led the assault?”
“Indeed, Lord Emery is a well-respected baron in Ionis, and the King has placed much trust in him. Lord Emery has never led him astray.”
My head swam with all the information. “Why are Ionis and Farbach at war?”
John thought for a moment. “The details are dicey; however, it is said that King Eric stole something from King Ion, the opposite is also told, but I know that not to be true. King Ion would never steal unless it was to keep King Eric from doing something to harm others. What I think, based on what I have heard Lord Emery and Philos talking about, is that King Eric just wants power. He wants to rule Evonia so he made up a bogus claim so he could attack Ionis while leaving Ovalt and Cherban unaware as to his real plans. If he eventually does control Ionis, Ovalt and Cherban will be next. Ovalt and Cherban are content to stay neutral in our war because they think that it will fade in time. King Ion can’t get them to see otherwise.” he looked me over, “you know you could be an Argenti, you have the darker colored skin, but your eyes are not silver. If the Argenti were real, I bet you could be one of them.”
“What’s an Argenti?” I questioned.
“Well, they look like humans, but their normal senses and bodily functions are a bit more enhanced than, they can smell better, run faster, and jump higher. Apparently, they are a small race but extremely smart. Some say they even possessed magic. No one’s ever seen one to validate the stories, however. If the Argenti are real, they don’t live on this continent.”
“So, they are a fairy tale.”
“Sure, you could say that. You know some people say that King Eric himself is an Argenti. But you didn’t hear that from me.”
A memory flashed through my mind, bright flashing light, a thunderous voice, and agony, so much agony. I gasped and grabbed my head in my hands.
“What is it?” John asked, concerned.
“I… I remembered something.”
“Good or bad?”
“I… I don’t know. I was in pain, so much pain.”
John winced. “It might be a memory from your experience in the prison.”
I nodded but didn’t agree. I had seen some of where I was in the memory and it wasn’t a cell.
Hello there Scatterbrained! Always great to see a younger writer willing to put themselves out there and share their creative work!
ReplyDeleteDefinitely a solid starting point here for a story. Swords and Sorcery is probably the most classic actively practiced story format and has proven itself for decades. You’ve given yourself a lot of room to take this story in any direction you’d like which is great for one of your first works!
A great thing to keep in mind when starting out a story with so much potential scope like this is that wiring is a collaboration between both the author’s and reader’s imagination. I feel it’s the delight of an author coax unique vivid imagery before a reader’s mind’s eye, and very few settings give more opportunity for that than medieval fantasy!
Don’t miss opportunities to draw the reader into your world by delighting the senses.
I love the idea of your MC starting blindfolded, and if you were making any edits I’d pick that as a wonderful area to slow down a little and let us be with your main character. With their primary sense taken away it’s an awesome opportunity for some unique world building through touch sound and smell! Was the dungeon dank and reeking, or perhaps unexpectedly clean exactly ordered speaking of a meticulously minded castle Lord who might be a compelling adversary later? Are Lord Emery’s troops running around shouting as they search, or maybe a marching well-oiled machine? Don’t let your excitement to get to the plot, story and interactions tempt you into missing the fun you can have with sneaking information into the reader’s mind. You have a ton of ideas and concepts here to work with so I look forward to seeing where you take things here or reading your next except if it is in a different world!
~Twice Wise
Thank you so much for the pointers! It's nice to know someone is reading my stories XD
ReplyDeleteHopefully I will be able to do more with this story, I wrote this a couple of weeks ago but haven't done anything else with it yet. But I am determined to further the story, hopefully sooner than later. :)
Of course! I really enjoy creative writing. While I in no way purport to be an expert on the written word, I have had a few exceptional teachers who really inspired me to love the creative process and how helpful, even transformative, an open dialogue good natured suggestions can be to improving ones skills and motivation to improve.
ReplyDeletePersonally, not only do I find analysis enjoyable, but believe it is also helpful to improve my own writing skills through the process of thinking critically about another’s work. To that end, I would definitely encourage all members of this blog to not just passively read each other’s work, but to take the time to offer suggestions and encouragement to the other writers.
I hope it can be sooner than later! I’ll be hanging around and will enjoy reading what you write next. :)
~Twice Wise
Nice work! I think that this is a decent start to a broader story. There's enough foreshadowing to give you something to work with. Nice job.
ReplyDelete